How to Change Your Reactions when Someone Hurts You

We all do it or at least have done at some point in our lives, and most of us do it without even thinking. Its called reacting.

You can’t control what happens to you but you can control your reactions. Only when you master handling the stress, pain and pressure that come into our lives, without getting angry and losing control are we really responsible and mature.

We usually express the way how we feel through our words. Right? We are careless with our words and don’t even realize this, especially when things go wrong. Just think back to the last time you got angry with someone how did you react?

If you want to be responsible and take charge in your life, you need to actually, consciously think BEFORE you speak, use you mind before your mouth. But not only what you say matters your action matters too. Ever heard the famous saying ‘actions speak louder than words’? Your actions really do count.

3 Steps for Changing Your Reactions when someone hurts you

1. Be responsible: Stop trying to get even with someone if they hurt you, when you do try to get even with someone you are simply lowering your standard to theirs. By doing this you are no better than the person who did you wrong in the first place. When circumstances don’t go as planned we must let it go. Look at what happened, breathe, then think about how you can put things right or what can you learn from the situation.

“Nothing is good nor bad its our thinking which makes it so” – Hamlet.

2. Forgiveness – Let it go, when you can do this you can find peace not only with the other person but with yourself also. Forgiving someone else benefits you and makes you into a better person. Don’t wait for an apology find it within yourself to let them be free, as a result you can be free too.

“Learn to love people for who they are and forgive them for who they are not.” – Tim Russert

3. Don’t take it personal – other people do things for a reason and may say something that hurts you. But maybe they are unhappy about something else that has nothing to do with you! Is it true what they say about you? Or are you going to take what someone says to you and make it haunt you, until you get even with them? Back to lesson no. 2, forgive. Chances are when people rant at you when they are upset and reacting it’s usually about them. You are just the outlet they can use to feel better.

It takes practice as with anything else to have self control especially when we are so used to reacting to unpleasant situations. But you can begin to put this lesson into action now and improve your outlook on life. Observe others, see their reactions then teach them how to live in peace.

The following two tabs change content below.

Diana Reid

Diana Reid encourages people like you to create a life of freedom and follow your passions so you can life a happier life. Find her at The Personal Freedom Project.

Latest posts by Diana Reid (see all)

9 thoughts on “How to Change Your Reactions when Someone Hurts You

  1. Hi Diana, I read articles all the time. I read some and in the end I regret exhausting my time on them. This one piece is something else. Before I could finish reading I already learnt several lessons and shared some on my Facebook timeline. Following these steps will surely build strength within you. Make you more mature than those that can’t control their feelings, shame those that actually want to get you angry. This is awesome Diana, I must confess. Please keep sharing your writing with me on G+. Looking forward to your next article.


    1. Emmanuel, I’m so glad you found the lessons valuable and that you had a few takeaways to share! I will keep sharing the articles, thanks for stopping by and taking time to read it :)

  2. I think this is one of the hardest things we can try to work on. Changing they way we react to people that hurt us takes time. The steps you outline give us a good way to get started – Be responsible (or take responsibility), practicing forgiveness, and don’t take it personal. The key is to practice this every chance you get.

  3. Hi Eric, Your right its not easy or a quick process going from always reacting to responding. I’m happy you think these steps are a good way to get started by giving us at least an awareness. Practice IS the key!

  4. I mostly agree. But I believe it is also important to call the person out or tell them you aren’t happy with what they did, otherwise they will pull more bs in the future.

    Then you can let it go and continue doing what you were doing.

    It’s funny when you start doing this and people aren’t used to it how they react, but soon they get used to it and respect you more.


    1. Hi Ben, sure let then know you were not happy afterwards, so they don’t think they can keep doing it. In the moment its important to learn to control any impulse to react straight away on a negative vibe. That takes practice :) Its so ,true what you say people see it as unexpected if you were to respond in a different way to the norm, they learn part of the lesson too! Thanks for your thoughts.

  5. i read ur feature change ur reactions when some one hurt u
    1 be responsible
    2 forgiveness
    3 dont take it personal
    i will follow this rule
    what will result come i will inform u
    people ociously hurt me
    i feel more stress
    i will deteroy fear

  6. This is the way hard to follow that “Stop trying to get even with someone if they hurt you.” It depends on the relationship with the person. Some of the people totally forget who is the person at all. They will easily take it and pass it. Thanks for sharing. I should learn from this article as well.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>