We all do it or at least have done at some point in our lives, and most of us do it without even thinking. Its called reacting.
You can’t control what happens to you but you can control your reactions. Only when you master handling the stress, pain and pressure that come into our lives, without getting angry and losing control are we really responsible and mature.
We usually express the way how we feel through our words. Right? We are careless with our words and don’t even realize this, especially when things go wrong. Just think back to the last time you got angry with someone how did you react?
If you want to be responsible and take charge in your life, you need to actually, consciously think BEFORE you speak, use you mind before your mouth. But not only what you say matters your action matters too. Ever heard the famous saying ‘actions speak louder than words’? Your actions really do count.
3 Steps for Changing Your Reactions when someone hurts you
1. Be responsible: Stop trying to get even with someone if they hurt you, when you do try to get even with someone you are simply lowering your standard to theirs. By doing this you are no better than the person who did you wrong in the first place. When circumstances don’t go as planned we must let it go. Look at what happened, breathe, then think about how you can put things right or what can you learn from the situation.
“Nothing is good nor bad its our thinking which makes it so” – Hamlet.
2. Forgiveness – Let it go, when you can do this you can find peace not only with the other person but with yourself also. Forgiving someone else benefits you and makes you into a better person. Don’t wait for an apology find it within yourself to let them be free, as a result you can be free too.
“Learn to love people for who they are and forgive them for who they are not.” – Tim Russert
3. Don’t take it personal – other people do things for a reason and may say something that hurts you. But maybe they are unhappy about something else that has nothing to do with you! Is it true what they say about you? Or are you going to take what someone says to you and make it haunt you, until you get even with them? Back to lesson no. 2, forgive. Chances are when people rant at you when they are upset and reacting it’s usually about them. You are just the outlet they can use to feel better.
It takes practice as with anything else to have self control especially when we are so used to reacting to unpleasant situations. But you can begin to put this lesson into action now and improve your outlook on life. Observe others, see their reactions then teach them how to live in peace.