How to Recognize and Deal With a Pessimist

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It’s very simple to recognize a pessimist – he never, under any circumstances, enjoys his life and doesn’t believe in a happy tomorrow. On a sunny day he will be anxious waiting for clouds and rain. When he falls in love, he’ll begin to worry: “How soon she’ll start to cheat me?” or something like that. In general, he is always the most miserable and unlucky person.

How to recognize a pessimist

However, pessimists can be different. Someone still can change their mindset, others so firmly stand their ground that there are no chances to convince them. Here are several kinds of pessimists.

Pessimistic girl with a flower

Aggressive pessimist
Don’t smile, laugh, speak of fun songs and good movies and believe in the sincerity of human feelings in his presence. Such person is cynical, angry and sarcastic.

Informed pessimist
He doesn’t oppose himself to the world and doesn’t express his anger. He just considers himself smarter than others and far-sighted. He just thinks he knows life and has great experience.

Unlucky pessimist
This is the loser that accept the fact that he will always fail, and he can’t do anything with it.

This person was born sensitive, anxious and restless. Life seems senseless to him. And all this is just fate.

Experienced pessimist
Knowledge is accumulated mostly during many years. And with age a person gets pessimism, bitterness, and rejection of everything new. These people are sure that modern youth is much worse than they were many year ago.

Complaining pessimist
He may have a good life, but his character requires constant whining and complaining about fate. After all it’s indecent to be prosperous in our time, he says.

How do people become pessimistic

Everything depends on many aspects. For example, much depends on your parents’ attitude to life, their methods of upbringing children, etc. If your father was constantly complaining, if he was strict and never let you do anything – there’s no doubt that you will be a pessimist.

There are also situation when people just got disappointed because of some tragedy, and they stop believing in anything good in this world.

How to deal with pessimist

So, if you live with a pessimist, love him or work with him, then here are several tips how to deal with a real pessimist.

  • Don’t become like minded with this person. No matter how often he predicts the end of the world. Just remember it’s all his character, accept him the way he is.
  • Pessimists love to criticize their beloved because of naivety, ignorance of life. Don’t give in and do not believe in his superiority. First, no one can know for sure how it will all happen. Second, before you met him you’ve had a good life, haven’t you? So, you already know how to live.
  • You already know that any of your proposal will be met with lots of arguments. So, ask his opinion first, let him explain his vision of the situation. Little manipulation will give you great results.
  • Pessimist likes to read something gloomy like Dostoevsky, Kafka and other “sufferers of human destiny.” And after reading this, just suicidal thoughts can come to his mind. Gradually and very carefully change his literature, suggest him something lighter and more optimistic. Let him grin, saying “nonsense”, but it will help to distract from gloomy thoughts.
  • The same can be made with TV. Pessimist like to watch something like criminal news, horror films, etc. Try to change it a bit.
  • Live here and now – a simple phrase, but very hard to realize for a pessimist. It’s essential to teach a pessimist to live the present moment, to see a ray of sunshine, watch squirrels in the park, etc. These moments usually pass by his attention and consciousness, so try to show him these beautiful moments.
  • After all, there are no pessimists who wouldn’t like anything in this life. Perhaps he likes fishing or walking with his dog, then he should do this more often, as these moments help him to relax and enjoy his life.


Everything is possible in this life. If you really want you can make any pessimist think at least a little bit more positively and help him enjoy this beautiful life. Just look for a proper approach.

Any thoughts on this topic? Feel free to leave them in the comments below!

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